Comments on: How do you know when you are in love?

By: gardiner

gardiner — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 18:39:10 +0000

My very sincere sympathy for sufferers enduring UL for more than a few months. I’ve had it twice now and 6 months is the max for the real pain – but thats enough!
I always thougt an “infatuation” – that usually lasts about the same time, but involves both partners and can last longer.
In both these emotions, co-extensive brain pathways are triggered by the sight of the object of our affection. In UL this appears to be a “replay” of a frustrated parental recognition which failed in infancy – hence we do not form a ‘Bond’ with the adored one and our affection is never returned.
But real LOVE is “neural” no brain chemistry and it lasts forever – not 6 months but 30 plus years in my case! I fell in love with my wife on our first meeting and proposed 2 weeks later – no fear of rejection either!!!

By: nerdymuso

nerdymuso — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:39:19 +0000

You just feel that the person is special and that you would do anything for them regardless of what they feel about you. You may not really deeply care about someone you’re just infatuated and, as it has been mentioned, powerful feelings for the object of affection won’t last long.

I do however believe in love at first sight.

By: Lonesome Loser

Lonesome Loser — Tue, 19 May 2009 04:43:53 +0000

Hey Sundog, sorry to hear about your predicament. I agree with you, it seems to me one of the major differences between crush and love is the length of time. I don’t believe anyone really maintains a “crush” beyond a few weeks or months, unless it’s really mild like on a movie star or something. But if you feel all those physical and emotional symptoms beyond a few weeks, and its combined with a reasonably realistic perception of the person you have feelings toward, it’s more honest to call it love.

By: Sundog

Sundog — Sun, 17 May 2009 20:15:16 +0000

Crushes and infatuations tend to be short-term things, and wear off with the passage of time. I wish that what I am experiencing were one of those, because then I could get over it and move on with my life. But I can’t.

I’ve been in love with her for four years now, and the way I feel about her shows no sign of abating. I think it’s the real thing. Unfortunately, she is happily married to someone else. So now what do I do? Nothing. Just grit my teeth and endure the pain.