Like or Love?
Posted By Lonesome Loser on May 12, 2010
Are you in love or in like? Is there a difference between friendship and love? Social science research says, yes, there is a difference.
The “Like or Love Survey” link-button below will open a survey on this page that may help you decide if what you feel for a particular person is more similar to being “in love” or more similar to being “in like.” The survey is based on psychologist Zick Rubin’s Love Scale.*
After you complete the survey, exit back onto this page to interpret your results. No peeking!
Ok, the first survey measured “romantic love,” the second survey measured “liking.” People who identified themselves as being “in love” averaged 89 on the Love scale when thinking about their boyfriend/girlfriend, and 65(women) or 55(men) on the Love scale thinking of a platonic friend. People averaged 84(women) or 88(men) on the Like scale when thinking of their girlfriend/boyfriend, and 80(women) or 79(men) on the Like scale thinking of a platonic friend.
So basically, being in love with someone feels significantly different than liking someone, they are two separate feelings. Although it is frequently the case we experience strong liking for someone we are in love with, we don’t experience nearly as much loving for someone who is “just a friend.”
*Rubin, Z. (1970). Measurement of romantic love. Journal of personality and social psychology, 16(2), 265-273.
I found some of the questions hard to answer. Why? Because I believe in love at first sight and have a classroom friend/acquaintance type relationship with my loved one. The questionnaire seemed to be aimed at people who were in mutual love. I couldn’t really say that he confides in me much.
Sometimes it feels as if people dismiss unrequited love as if it doesn’t exist or that it does’t count as real love.
Hey Nerdymuso,
I agree with you, people do sometimes seem to dismiss unrequited love like it doesn’t count as real love, which isn’t true. Have you read this site’s post Unrequited Love Isn’t Real ? It addresses this directly, discussing how unrequited love gets a bad rap but is simply romantic love that is not returned — it feels just the same.
Also, ideally you should respond to the Like or Love questionnaire with how YOU feel towards your Loved One, not necessarily what is actually happening — the statement reads “I would greatly enjoy being confided in by ______.” It doesn’t matter if your Loved One is actually confiding in you or not.
LL
I know so well about unrequited love and the painful aftermath. I believe for my girlfriend, she was more in like, than in love. This journey led me to start a blog, a journal really.
oldloveaffair.blogspot.com