By: James

James — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 01:47:32 +0000

Your backstory struck a cord with me. Why does love have to be torment for some and bliss for others? I too am hopelessly in unrequited love. I am a high school student at a private christian school in the Bible belt of virginia , and I’m in love with another boy. No one knows my true feelings or orientation , I’m not in the most accepting of environments. I’m a senior this year and the boy I love , ( I’ll refer to him as “V”), is younger than me by about three years. V is the most amazing person I’ve evver had the pleasure of knowing. He is kind , lively , and somehow reserved and quiet for his age. He’s a great athlete and yet he lacks that arrogance and brashness that every other jock at my school seems to have. Even though he’s very popular and a great ball player he is nice to everyone he comes in contact with , volunteering for chores around school , helping people who’ve dropped thier books , saying hi to everyone he meets , even a nobody like me. He is also gorgeous , beautiful, a god amongst the rest of us. He doesn’t chase after the girl with the largest breasts like all the other guys , even though he could have any one he wanted (I’m not the only one who sees how attractive he is). But alas , there is no hope. As I’ve said before I live in a community that is very intolerant of homosexuality , if people were to know how I felt they wouldn’t accept it , to say the least. Also I believe that V feels the same way they do about what I am. I seriously doubt he’d condem me as a heratic and stone me or anything like that but I feel that he wouldn’t understand. V’s father is a preacher at a southern Baptist Church and V’s older brother openly and loudly believes that homosexuality is a choice and a sin. I know better than anyone how hopeless my love is but that doesn’t change anything. When I see him my pulse races , when I try to talk to him my mouth is dry and my voice escapes a faltering whisper. Once he placed his hand on my shoulder and I knew what heaven must feel
like , any sort of contact with him. When I think of him at night I can’t sleep , I haven’t gotten eight hours of the stuff in months. Occasionaly I dream of him , never more than a glimpse of him , or once , a hug. I’ve tried to make myself dream about him to no avail. My daily prayer to whatever entity will listen is that in some way I can make him happy , in some way I can be something to him so he’ll remember me. I know I can never be with him , we’ll probably go our seperate ways and meet “new people” , but I know that I’ll never stop loving him. No mater how many partners I’m with , no matter if I get married or not , I’ll always love him , unfortunatley unrequitedly.

Comments on: Backstory

By: James