Links & Bookstore
The following is a list of links that may be of help or interest to the would-be lover. If you know of any other sites or books that you found helpful, please Email Me and let me know.
Wikipedia’s Entry on Unrequited Love.
It has a basic overview, and is heavy with literary and musical examples of unrequited love. However, this entry tends to emphasize a view of unrequited love as rather selfish and immature, which I don’t think is a particularly fair characterization.
Wikipedia’s Entry on Limerence.
Limerence, a term coined by psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov, is variously seen as synonymous with romantic love, obsessional love, and infatuations or crushes. This entry has an excellent section on the physiological and behavioral manifestations of limerence. However, I believe this entry (as well as Tennov’s research) focuses overly much on the rejection fear associated with love or limerence, as well as on its potential negative qualities and consequences.
Dr. Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University, has done groundbreaking research on the nature of romantic love, particularly regarding the biological and neurobiological aspects of love. An especially interesting article might be Dumped!: The Nature of Romantic Rejection, that can be found on her website under the “Articles” section. If you are interested in a full-length book on romantic love, consider Dr. Fisher’s Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.
Francesco Alberoni is an Italian sociologist who writes about falling in love as a life changing event akin to a religious or political conversion. Rather than a regressive experience (as suggested by many psychoanalytic views), Alberoni suggests we fall in love when we want a change. Consider reading his book Falling in Love (1979), that explores these ideas in detail. Amazingly, this book is available to download for free at the author’s website.
Agony and Rapture of Unrequited Love.
A must-see, funny, tongue-in-cheek personal site on unrequited love by physics grad student Steve Stonebraker. It includes bits of wisdom for both would-be lovers and the loved ones, commentary on the absurdity of the situation we find ourselves in, personal experience stories from other would-be lovers, and links of interest.
