Charlie Brown and the Little Red-Haired Girl

Lonesome Loser | July 30, 2010

This is perhaps one of the most well-known stories of unrequited love.  It’s helpful in terms of communicating the experience of unrequited love or limerence to others, as most everyone (at least in U.S. culture) is familiar with the story and we can all empathize with Charlie Brown’s longing, fear of not being good enough, [...]

Same Planet, Different Worlds

Lonesome Loser | May 22, 2010

Funny how we hear things we want to hear, and ignore things we wish weren’t true. It’s human nature, we all do it for any number of reasons. The dual lenses of denial and rose-coloring in the bifocal glasses that we all use is particularly distorting in unrequited love. Loved Ones say things we over [...]

“I Love You” — “What?!”

Lonesome Loser | March 30, 2010

So, someone has declared their undying love for you.  And you don’t feel the same.  How uncomfortable!  Someone saying they are in love with you when you don’t love them in return is an experience most of us wish we would never have.  However, the truth is that it is actually an experience that most [...]

Sing Along

Lonesome Loser | January 21, 2010

(Musicals on the mind today, sorry!) I’ve been thinking about the tension between our perspectives, and those of our Loved Ones or others, and how opposed they often seem to be. Would-be lovers see their love as “real,” whereas everyone else (including the Loved One) sees it as “unreal” or a “crush.”  Very frustrating!  This [...]

The Definition is Yours

Lonesome Loser | December 24, 2009

I just want to argue for taking all this discussion, and every “expert” opinion on unrequited love (as well as romantic love in general) with several grains of salt.  Basically, deciding whether you are in love or not is your decision.  There is no surefire way to verify “for real” whether it’s love or not.  [...]

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*This moniker sounds considerably more pathetic than I actually feel, but I just couldn't resist the tongue-in-cheek description.