0 Stars. Do Not Recommend.
Tuesday Oct. 31st: PET CT Scan.
Prior to my appointment I was asked if I was claustrophobic. I don’t know, but the idea of being shoved into a small tunnel doesn’t sound very appealing so I was tempted to answer Yes. I was prescribed Ativan.
After getting settled in my own little suite (a tiny room, comfy chair, an hour to kill), I took 1/2 a tablet, on the recommendation of the Nurse who feared they’d have to carry me out if I took 1-2 whole tablets. I didn’t feel particularly different, maybe a little tired, but as I told her, with a toddler who doesn’t sleep, tired is my baseline so it really felt no different.
I proceeded to lay down prepared to feel some type of anxious. However, she put a warm blanket over me and proceeded to explain how the machine would slowly move me through the tunnel, and then perform a series of scans, slowly moving me back and forth for a bit and eventually taking scans of each section of my body until I come out of the other side. This back and forth movement, combined with the warm blanket, was heaven. I immediately understand what babies experience in their swings. As I moved through the tunnel, I noticed there was a small section that had various designs; much like what you might see in those adult coloring books. I found myself trying to memorize all the different images as I moved back and forth (tea pot, cat, flower…). Before I knew it I was being rudely awakened by a ringing. She told me were done. I was annoyed. Finally getting some nice shut eye and even that was shortlived. I thought it was silly I took the Ativan.
Thursday November 2nd: Breast MRI
Never had one of these. I knew I would be face down and thought I surely would not need Ativan for this one. Wrong again.
This was a horrifying experience. They gave me headphones and allowed me to pick my music - I mentioned Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran and something about being a Boy Band girl and he put on Today’s Hits. I was content - for about 1 minute because the rest of the time I couldn’t hear a thing. The machine was extremely loud and obnoxious. Scans varied in length from 2-5 minutes long. In between them the Nurse would speak over the intercom to tell me what was next. Again, I wondered why I had these headphones on. The sound of the machine was so jarring. When they injected the contrast, which I believe is what helps targeted tissues be easily detected, I thought I was going to puke. And I thought surely I cannot b/c I am face down - where would it go? That would be a disaster. The last scan felt like hours - I think he said it was 4 minutes. I think he was lying. Thankfully I managed to survive that experience. I don’t think it’ll be my last throughout this process, unfortunately.
Thursday November 2nd: Port Placement
I forgot to mention that I had been fasting since the previous night for both the MRI and this procedure. Not only was I feeling terrible after the MRI, I couldn’t even treat myself.
Mom came with me to my Port Placement- thanks Mom! :) Naturally, the Nurse could not pronounce my name, had to clarify which one of us was the patient, and then proceeded to express shock that I was 40. I found the whole thing annoying, but I am easily annoyed these days in particular so again, baseline. When we got to the room she gave me a list of instructions. I immediately empathized with Riley and Jalen wondering how often we throw this many directives at them. Note to self to stop doing that. Before she comes back my Mom questions if the gown should be opened in the front or the back. I’ve had so many appointments since this started, all giving different directions as to how to wear the gown, I literally have no clue. We inevitably decide I have it on backwards and I am fearful of this Nurse coming back and shaming me. I correct it and pray this is right.
She returns and doesn’t look at me like I’m a moron so Mom and I are relieved. This Nurse ended up turning things around and we built some rapport. I am reminded of the Nurses that helped with all 3 of my deliveries and I just feel grateful for her too, despite the rocky start of our time together. Sadly our time eventually ends, but not before she gives us the names of “the best plastic surgeons” for when the time comes. There are many lights at the end of the tunnel that I will be looking for - this might be one of them!
The procedure was fairly quick, from what I can remember. They give me some of the good stuff and when I woke up it was over. I was pleasantly surprised that there were no tubes hanging out of me. Not sure why I envisioned this - my surgeon explained and showed what it would look like when we first met. Still, this was a nice change from what I thought it would be.
Unfortunately due to this procedure and the timing of it all, I had to miss Riley’s Fall Piano Recital. :( Not happy about that. She did a great job and I am so proud of how brave and confident she is. Hope to steal a page from her book for this upcoming performance that awaits for me.
I met Mark, my sister, Riley, Jalen and Nathan for dinner. We were quickly reminded why we don’t go out to eat very often. It was a great follow up to my long day………..
Thank you to Jo for staying home with Camden. And to Kathryne for bringing some delicious soup! Already, my village is showing up in many many wonderful ways. We are so so grateful. <3
Until next time.
🫶🏾